For nearly two years, I’ve been on an intense quest to uncover what was missing in my life. Despite chasing happiness relentlessly, fulfillment always seemed just out of reach.
I tried everything. I traveled, hoping new environments would ignite something within me. I worked harder, thinking success might fill the void. I surrounded myself with people, seeking connection and joy. Yet, the emptiness persisted.
In a bold move, I quit my job and retreated to Bali, embracing meditation, healthy living, and sobriety. I sought therapy, devoured self-help books, and watched countless mental health documentaries. I even threw myself into helping others, believing service might bring meaning.
When that didn’t work, I moved to a new country, started a business, and streamlined my social circle. I pursued fitness and healthier habits, but despite all these efforts, something still felt incomplete.
Then, just few months ago, a profound realisation struck me:
Fulfilment isn’t found in the outside world.
We spend so much energy chasing achievements, experiences, and validation, hoping they will complete us. But life’s true meaning doesn’t lie in external accomplishments - it lives within us.
The Power of Self-Love
Your peace, joy, and sense of purpose are inner creations. No amount of running, achieving, or searching will ever replace the need to face yourself. You are your own savior. The only one who can truly heal and fulfil you is you.
It all comes down to self-love. But what does that really mean?
Here’s the defining question:
What kind of person do I love myself as?
Be brutally honest. Strip away external markers like job titles, possessions, or social approval. Who are you at your core? Are you someone you’d admire, cherish, and respect without external validation?
This inner reflection can be uncomfortable, but it’s necessary. The world can take away material things in an instant, but the relationship you build with yourself will remain.
How to Start:
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Reflect on Your Journey
Consider your past—what shaped and inspired you? Envision your future—not through achievements but through how you want to feel and who you want to be. Then look at your present—are your actions aligned with the person you aspire to become? -
Be Honest and Accountable
Self-love isn’t just about self-care rituals; it’s about making conscious, empowering choices. Unlearn harmful habits, question old beliefs, and let go of patterns that no longer serve you. - Shift Your Perspective
- Exercise as an act of love, not punishment.
- Help others because it nourishes your soul, not because of expectation.
- See obstacles as opportunities for growth, not as setbacks.
When you view life through the lens of kindness and self-love, challenges become lighter, and relationships flourish naturally.
Motivation Comes from Within
Many people search for motivation in the external world. But true motivation comes from within—it’s fueled by your personal vision, your “why,” and your belief in what’s possible.
If you feel unmotivated, ask yourself:
Is this something I truly want?
Reconnect with your purpose and reignite your inner spark. The world can inspire you, but only you can motivate yourself.
The Ultimate Truth
Self-love isn’t selfish—it’s the foundation for a meaningful and balanced life. Start small. Be intentional. You are worth the effort.
Build yourself first, and everything else will follow.
P.S.
On the journey of building ourselves through the lens of self-love, having a practical tool to track our progress and stay on course is essential. After exploring numerous apps and notebooks, I realised that none offered a combination of simplicity and essential features.
So, I decided to create such a tool - both for myself and for anyone interested in cultivating self-love and building new routines around it. If this resonates with you, this notebook is exactly what you need.
Since I initially designed it for personal use, I didn’t focus on creating a commercial name when uploading it to Amazon. Unfortunately, the name cant be changed after publishing. So you can find it by following the link or searching for it by the name
paperback: 12 weeks productivity diary: change your life by changing your routine
or hardcover version: 12 weeks routine diary: THE TOOL for self-love practicing
And here’s what it looks like. This tool helped me transform my life, and I believe it can help many others too.
